Frugal Sexy

The Your Money column at the times Times was recently fretting about how a frugal man can get a date, apropos of a poll that showed most women find "frugal" to be a very unsexy word. As a public service, I offer the following ways that a man can be a complete skinflint and still get plenty of action:

• Pose as an artist or intellectual who is far beyond material things.
• Emphasize romance: "As long as I have you, I don't need money." "Let's just stay home tonight, light a candle and share our souls." "A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou is all I could ever want."
• Become a surfer bum and live in a shack by the beach.
• Become an anarchist revolutionary, squat in an abandoned factory, and rant about how everyone else has been enslaved by the corporate hierarchy and their propaganda.
• Emphasize adventurous fun, like searching the city (on foot) for the best cheap ethnic food, backpacking vacations, and scouring the racks at Amvets for rare vintage clothes.
• Become an eco-fanatic and focus on reducing your carbon footprint to zero; this is best when combined with:
• Pose as a deeply spiritual person who is far beyond material things.

The key is, never be nervous about money; instead, become indifferent to the things it can buy.