Saturday, December 3, 2011
Zombies vs. Cave Bears
My teenage kids are posting their zombie apocalypse survival plans, giving me another opportunity to vent about what ridiculous villains zombies are. We are supposed to be scared of carnivorous enemies that have neither sharp teeth, big claws, nor technology and move at a shambling walk? Look, we wiped out the cave bears, which weighed 500 pounds and could run 35 miles per hour (50 kph). Not even the most vicious and mobile new wave zombies are anything like that formidable. The only enemies who could possible threaten us are 1) microscopic parasites, and 2) those with intelligence or technology greater than our own. I eagerly await the end of the zombie fad, so we can have more books and movies with genuinely scary and formidable enemies.