Wednesday, April 13, 2016

How to Tell If You're in a Viking Saga

Wonderful list. A sample:
You have started a bloody multi-generational feud by stealing cheese.

You have gone away to Constantinople and left your dashing blond brother to manage all your property. You are confident nothing can go wrong.

Everyone around you is named Thorolf, except for Thorstein Cod-Biter, who lives over in the next valley. Many say he is part-troll. But they have learnt not to say it to his face.

You have enraged a family of Sami wizards, who like to stand on your roof and sing all night.

An elderly woman, known for her second-sight, gives you specific instructions to avoid being murdered. You ignore her.

You think a summer of raiding and mercenary warfare will curb the violent tendencies of your young relative.

Your mother is a kidnapped Irish princess, but didn’t think to mention this for years.

At the age of three, you were already composing skaldic verse and outdrinking grown men. Your grandparents are very proud of you.

You may have died in an unusually horrible manner, but at least this rocky outcrop is named after you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I needed something funny for lunch, and your post fit the bill perfectly!
Thanks a lot.