Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Here is something I learned from my wife's untimely death:

If you have questions, ask them now. If there are things you have been waiting for the right moment to say, say them now. Otherwise, it may be too late.

There are questions I set aside for 20 years because it never seemed the right time to speak of those painful subjects. Things I wanted to explain that never seemed to fit into the moment where I was.

Now my wife is dead, and the answers I never heard, and the explanations I never gave, will always leave a gap in my understanding of my wife, my marriage, and myself. I will die not knowing, and not having spoken words I desperately wanted to speak.