If you ask whether that is a true story, all I can say is that Thomas Grey was a pretty accurate chronicler and he said it was true, so I think it is likely to have something of the truth in it. However, a story like that is bound to evolve in thirty years of remembering and retelling, so most likely it is not the exact truth. I like it because I prefer to think that courtly love was not all literature, and that sometimes medieval men did foolish things like the oath of Grey's knight; but others see it differently.
Norham Castle built by the bishops of Durham starting in 1121. The mortar was hardly dry before the Scots attacked it for the first time, in 1136. The bishop talked the Scots into giving it back, but they took it again in 1138. The castle was then rebuilt; the great keep that still stands was built in the 1150s. After that rebuilding the Scots besieged Norham unsuccessfully ten times in a row, including a siege of 40 forty days by Alexander II in 1215, and another by by Robert Bruce in 1318 that lasted nearly a year.
The Bishops of Durham held the castle until 1174, when they joined a rebellion against Henry II. After he put down the revolt he took the castle into royal hands. So throughout the bloody thirteenth, fourteenth and fifteenth centuries it was the property of the king.
In 1296 Edward I left his queen, Marguerite of France, at Norham while he invaded Scotland. During the Wars of the Roses the castle experienced a change of pace and was besieged by English forces, once by the Yorkists and once by the Lancastrians.
The castle was extensively rebuilt in the sixteenth century and equipped with its own cannons. After the union of the crowns it was allowed to fall into the splendid ruin you can see today.
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