Common Core Will Turn Your Children Gay

And you thought Common Core was just another in the long line of doomed attempts to reform American education from the top. No, it is much more insidious than that. Let Florida State Rep. Charles Van Zant explain it to you:

These people, that will now receive $220 million from the state of Florida unless this is stopped, will promote double-mindedness in state education and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can. I’m sorry to report that to you.

Glenn Beck has been saying for years that Common Core is a secular socialist plot to enslave us, but not even he grasped the full horror of this liberal master plan: it will turn your children into secular socialist gay slaves.

I mean, consider this obviously seditious excerpt from Maryland's Common Core Standards for Language Arts:

The way we taught students in the past simply does not prepare them for the higher demands of college and careers today and in the future. Your school and schools throughout the country are working to improve teaching and learning to ensure that all children will graduate high school with the skills they need to be successful.

In English language arts and literacy, this means three major changes. Students will continue reading and writing. But in addition to stories and literature, they will read more texts that provide facts and background knowledge in areas including science and social studies. They will read more challenging texts and be asked more questions that will require them to refer back to what they have read. There will also be an increased emphasis on building a strong vocabulary so that students can read and understand challenging material.

Scary stuff.

In case you were wondering, "double-mindedness" is from the Bible, a reference to people who are weak in their faith:

But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (James 1:2-11)