Today's Conspiracy Theory: Obama is a Saudi Agent

Oh, this is the best. A certain Avi Lipkin, who says his wife is an Israeli spy, has been touring the country explaining that he finally knows the key to Obama's mysterious behavior: he is a Saudi agent! From Right Wing Watch:

Obama was made a Muslim man in Indonesia by age 11. He said, ‘I’ve got health care problems, I got economic problems in America, Muslims in Egypt and Muslims in the Muslim world, be patient, I will show you when the time comes what I am going to do to Israel.’ My wife picked up other broadcasts, for example the Saudis were saying, ‘we will have a Muslim in the White House in 2008.’ The Saudis also said, ‘Obama has three tasks: task number 1 is to destroy the Shiite threat in Iran, task number 2 is to destroy the Jewish threat Israel, task number 3 is to destroy the great Christian Satan America and turn America into a Muslim country.’ 

Mr. Lipkin also explains why some neocons are so upset about the Muslim Brotherhood's electoral victories in Egypt:

The Muslim Brotherhood is going to end up either killing, converting to Islam or expelling the remaining Christians of Egypt. When the Christians of Egypt are gone, the economy of Egypt is gone. When the economy of Egypt is gone, the 76 Muslims who remain are going to starve to death. What do people do when they starve? They leave. Where do they go to? America. Who’s going to bring them in? Obama. Where is he going to settle them? In the lands confiscated by Agenda 21.

Agenda 21! How could we have left that out? The Trilateral Commission was thinking far ahead on this one, dreaming up the global warming hoax to justify their anti-American Agenda 21 so they could use environmentalist cover to seize the suburbs and give them to their Muslim shock troops! Those clever bastards.

I know what you're thinking now: how does this relate to the deficit?

America will be Muslim by 2016. . . . So you have Agenda 21, you have Sharia law, by the way I’m going to throw out a real wildcard now. You have all those people who talk about the American debt being insolvable, where are you going to get $14 trillion from? The answer is very simple, you don’t think the Saudis have $14 trillion in cash? They’ll give you the cash and they will say ‘we own you now, we’re going to take over America.’ And Americans will say, ‘if we don’t do this we’re going to lose our economy and we’re going to lose our dollar and everything.’ The American economic problem is not a problem if the Saudis come in and bring in their cash. The problem here is America will surrender its Christianity.

Voila! It all falls into place.

And you thought Mormonism was weird.